It's Fall

I Want To Tie Dye!

Also,

Do koalas eat spiders? My boyfriend told me they do, but I'm not quite sure I believe him. Maybe I should ask cha-cha...

Well...

I am a terrible blogger. Life is busy. But good. More to come later. Goodnight.

Today

I'm going to Canada!










Eh!

Also...

My best friend is getting married in three days. WHAT THE HECK?!?

Tough Times.

Life is hard. I need help. I keep making the same mistakes over and over and over again. I get my act together and slowly but surely it all just falls to pieces yet again. In the same exact ways. I hate it. I don't know how God can be so forgiving. I can't even comprehend it. Please. Just pray.

ALIVE!

Just so everyone knows I am not dead...HELLO! I am alive and well! I have returned from Palm Springs and then again from Twin Peaks with all of my body parts still intact. I am sleepy but happy. No more planning for me. Now I am free for summer and do not have to be a responsible adult until work starts in a few more weeks. Well, I'll still be semi-responsible. My future agenda looks to be swing dancing lessons, much Disneyland, beach, cleaning/organizing my entire room (yes, I like to do that), wedding planning, wedding going (Augh! I still have to write a speech for that!), quilting, bridal shower attending, movie watching, park frolicking, Canada exploring, and over-all fun fun fun! I shall post pix and more stuff later about my previous adventures, but at the moment I am hungry. Off to satiate my tummy.

:D

What a gorgeous day!!! I can't believe it is almost summer! Time is flying by so quickly. Only two more days of school and then I am done until August! I do not want to write my last paper. I do not want to study for my last final. I want to frolic in the park, roll in the grass, smell the flowers, go to Disneyland, read a book, make a quilt, sing a song. Anything but schoolwork. Somebody save me!!!

Oh boy.

I need to get my life together. It's all crashing down around my feet.
BUT
Summer is coming!!! After this week I am officially done with my first year of college! And I am technically a second semester sophomore. Hurray! But I don't care about all that school stuff anymore (as you can tell, since I am procrastinating on studying for my philosophy final that is tomorrow). I just want summer summer summer! It's like high school musical. I just want summer to be HERE. NOW. I really have sooo much to do though before next week. Then I can relax. In Palm Springs. With some of my favorite people. Then I will relax in Twin Pines for the rest of the week. With some of my other favorite people. Woo this is a very random blog. Ok I am going to study now. For reals. Goodbye.

WHAT?

I AM SO CONFUSED AT LIFE RIGHT NOW! I just feel like all I want to do is cry. Part of this may have to do with the fact that it's the middle of the night, I'm quite sick, I have a speech due later on today which I have not finished, and that I am definitely running on less hours of sleep then I should be. But besides all that, I just feel empty. I don't know. It's a terrible, terrible feeling. I know that all of you wonderful people out there reading this are thinking what? she is usually a happy person. This is true, but I do have my down times and this is definitely one of them. Do you ever wonder what God's will really is? If you're actually making your own decisions and then pretending that they're God's will because it's what you want? I think about that a lot. I don't know. I recently went on tour with my choir. Many of the people in that group have...different standards than I do. That trip really made me think about who I am and the way I act. Is it just a show? Do I do the right thing because it's expected of me or do I really want to? And if I am doing the right thing because I want to, is it really okay for me to expect people who don't have the same beliefs as me to be up to the same standard? I don't know. Life is extremely overwhelming at the moment. I take on too many responsibilities and don't seem to manage my time very well. Then I get stressed out and write this lovely blog. I feel as if I am so much more complex as a person now then I ever have been before in my life. Ever since I started going to public school I have changed. Yes, it has been a great experience for me. I have really learned a lot about myself and my faith. I have been able to interact with different people and share some of my own beliefs. But I am not the innocent little girl I was even one year ago. I am now informed about things that I never would have wanted to know. Is that alright? I don't know. I guess I couldn't have helped a lot of it and would have found out eventually, but I wish I could have found some of it out at a later time. Don't worry I'm not doing drugs or having sex or any of that crazy stuff. Sometimes I just wish I was back in pre-school when all I had to do was be able to ride a tricycle. I didn't have to worry about saying the right thing, getting things done, being a great girlfriend, knowing the right answers. Life is a wonderful thing, as is growing older, but sometimes, like today, I just wish that I knew what the right thing was.

Procrastinating at Packing.

Hahahaha today I ate a banana and on the sticker that comes on the peel it said "Yum Yum Potassi-Yum." Which I thought was hilarious and needed to be shared with the world. Tomorrow I am leaving for Bishop at 6:00 in the morning with my jazz choir. We're going to be touring through Bishop and Mammoth and singing to different groups of people. So far I have gotten out all of the stuff I need to pack and still have put nothing into my suitcase. Instead I have been blogging all day. In my favor, I have been doing laundry and since that goes on the bottom of my suitcase I can use that as an excuse of why I'm waiting! OOOhhhhh also today I found out that I get to go to a $70 Hillsong conference for free!!! I'm so excited! I love Hillsong!!! Anyways...this is my 3rd blog today...a record! Well off to pack, my laundry should be just about finished.

Books in the Bathroom?

So today I was wondering...why do people keep books and interesting things to read in their bathrooms??? Think about it. When you go to someone's house, and you have to go to the bathroom, you want to go and get out of there as quick as possible. Oh the horrors of taking too long in the bathroom! So, what is the point of having things to read in the bathroom then? If you were at home and wanted to read something, you would just bring it with you, but who, in their right mind, would go to the bathroom in someone else's house and take their time while reading a book??? Strange...

Real Relationships

Do you know those couples that have been dating forever? Who are "perfect for each other?" Who never seem to fight and are sure to get married in the future? Then they break up. That just screws with my whole view on relationships. Sometimes I see couples who have been dating for so long and seem like they're just so in love as those people who have "the perfect relationship." Then something happens. They fight in public (gasp!) or even worse, they take a break!!! Then I realize that nobody is perfect and that everyone has some kinks to work out no matter what kind of relationship they have-romantic, or just as friends. Real relationships are hard. You have to be willing to put the other person before you-their wants, needs, and such. It's so easy to just get angry over little things that can cause such problems in a relationship. Instead of talking things over, people just snap at each other and let their anger build until finally it explodes.

In today's world, women are accepted as independent and yet there are still certain standards that the perfect woman is held to. Besides all of the physical stuff, women are expected to be soft-spoken, hard-working, home-makers, loving, kind, forgiving, motherly, complacent, quiet, and obedient to their authorities (husbands, boyfriends, etc). Basically, women are supposed to be superheroes. Even though these characteristics may not be exactly right (or easy to achieve!), they all are good attributes to have. Lately I have been coming back to I Corinthians 13: 4-7 a lot:

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves."

This is such a great passage that reminds us what love truly is. Being in a relationship isn't about getting your way, the physical benefits, or the satisfaction of someone's affection. It's about getting to know someone while getting to know yourself more as well. It's about applying the above verse and all the true aspects of love. James 1:19 says "...Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry..." True, true true. In every part of life, but definitely in relationships. Today we are taught that if the relationship isn't working, get out of it and find someone new who is going to work better for you. In some instances this may be true, but over-all, with an attitude like that, you're never going to find someone who "works for you." Look at the good things in life, don't just focus on what you don't have.

Comparisons.

Wow. I've been reading other people's blogs and they make me feel kind of depressed. They are all so deep and intellectual, and I am certain that my blogs cannot compare. I seem to compare myself to people in many different aspects of my life. I know this is not right and it makes me have a lesser opinion of myself, yet I still do it. I am learning how to be content with the person that God made me and how to be thankful for what I have. Self-appreciation is not easy to come by, and I am sure that it will be a life-long struggle for me.

On a different note, I have this ginormous purple care bear that I won (on accident) at Knott's Berry Farm a long time ago and I would really like to get rid of it. I don't think that even the Goodwill would take it, but I am willing to try. It's taking up space in my room that can be used for much greater things! I wanted to send it to my little cousin, but she lives in a different state and that thing is like half my size! Do you know how much it would cost to ship it?!? Oh well. Hopefully I'll find some way to get rid of it...

Looking Back.

Ohh the nostalgia of high school drama. Remember those days? I have so many memories from high school, not so many of them on the good side. Looking back at high school I wish that I had been able to make a bigger difference within my campus. I wish that I had been more sure of myself, more comfortable, and more open with others about my faith and beliefs. However, looking back I also realize that I learned so many things about myself throughout those years and I wouldn't trade any of those memories that I have, no matter how hurtful, for the world. I wouldn't change any memory of my life no matter what-even that time I poured soda all over Jesse's table in front of his whole family. YIKES! But every single thing that I experienced in life has brought me to the place I am today and I am so excited to see where my life will eventually lead. God has so much in store for me and I can't wait to find out what it is!

Whew. Pretty good for my first real blog, huh! Lol!!! I also lost that shirt that I'm wearing in the picture and that makes me sad cuz I loved it! Wow. Random. Well it is the middle of the night...

I'm blogging?

Wow. I can't believe it. I have just signed up for a blogging website...I always thought that blogging was pretty stupid, and yet, here I sit typing away. I'm not much of a story person, so we'll see how this goes.